'I saw a missile, my bru!' - SA comedian Dalin Oliver is finding the funny while stuck in Dubai

A South African comedian getting stuck in transit in Dubai amid a Middle East conflict sounds like the perfect premise for a stand-up special.

For Dalin Oliver, however, it was a sudden reality. He landed in Dubai at 6am on Saturday, February 28, completely unaware of the extraordinary day that was about to unfold during his transit.

Iran launched retaliatory missile and drone attacks on Saturday against US military bases located in the Gulf region, specifically targeting cities in the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Kuwait and Bahrain. This action came in response to reported strikes by the US and Israel on Iran.

The resulting closure of UAE airspace, which remained effective until further notice, left over 20,000 travellers stranded. 

Fortunately, the UAE stepped in to provide significant relief by covering all unforeseen expenses, including food, hotel and flight costs.

Oliver has been chronicling the disruption of his travel itinerary since his arrival. He was heading to Adelaide Fringe in Australia, where his one-man show, “90 Day Comedian”, is slated to run from March 5 to 15.

And he has delivered, as expected, using true South African humour.

Here is a breakdown of his situation so far.

"Flight cancelled" doesn’t mean stranded

In his first video, posted on Instagram on Saturday, he updated followers on what transpired since touchdown in Dubai. 

“I’m stuck in Dubai, that’s right, I’m stuck in Dubai, my fellow South Africans, people of the internet …I'm safe, I'm okay. Everything's good. Family checked up on me. I've checked on them, friends, vice versa. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate it.

“But yeah, the past 24 to 48 hours was wild. So, I'm excited because I'm off to Adelaide Fringe in Australia for the very first time. 

“I fly from Cape Town, 6.30pm on Friday. land in Dubai at 6am. I take the cheapest flight because I must make that rand stretch. I got a 20-hour layover.

“Emirates is kind enough, if you book a long flight with them with a long layover, they give you a free hotel. Get to the hotel, check in, shower, my bra come fetch me, Abhi, I'm gonna be a tourist for the day.”

But the sightseeing took a different turn in the afternoon, 

He recalled: “We busy walking, I can see in the air. I just hear (makes explosion sound). I think it's an airplane. 

I look up. I’m like Abhi, why is there… But this bra, he can’t see so lekker, man, without his glasses on. I say look up. He goes where? What is that? He can’t see what it is. 

“I'm like, is it fireworks? Is it a shooting star? What is it? It sounds like an aeroplane, the next thing we hear (makes explosion sound effects). My bru, it’s a missile. A missile, my bru, in real-time … a missile being intercepted. 

We don’t compute what’s happening. He also can’t see what’s happening. 

“A few minutes later, his friends, his family start messaging, ‘Are you okay?’ We realise what’s happening.”

When he checked his flight a few hours later, it was cancelled. 

“I go to the airport. All flights are cancelled. Airspace is shut down. Emirates puts me up in a hotel, indefinitely. I don't know when I'm getting to Adelaide Fringe. I don't know if I'm getting to Adelaide Fringe.  I'm safe. I'm okay. I just want you to check in. I saw a missile, my bru.  That's the maddest thing I've seen in my life. Intercepted. Real-time.”

Still stuck in Dubai? Don’t panic

His second video, “Safety Alerts Stuck in Dubai”, captured the atmosphere in Dubai, where the explosive sounds of missiles being shot down pierced the air.

Like many other residents and tourists on socials, Oliver is the epitome of calm. He displayed absolutely no signs of stress or anxiety.

He said: “Aweh, so still stuck in Dubai, but feel very safe. The government has done an amazing job in, like, keeping calmness and safety amongst the locals, who live here, and the individuals who are on holiday or in transit.

“Coming from Cape Town, South Africa. I've never experienced this before. So last night, or this morning at least, at about 1am, we're getting food and you can hear the missiles, right?

“So you hear this, (makes the sound), it's hovering like a big aeroplane. Sounds like maybe a hair dryer that's close to you. Or like a washing machine. But I can't see any missiles in the sky, and then we get the alerts on our cellphones.

“And it beeps it, it is loud. So you'd be sitting or standing next to someone, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and you check it. I put the message here, check the message here. They tell you to look out. There is a possible attack happening, and then you must get to shelter.

“Great, right? And I was laughing, because the closest I got to this was at Muizenberg. When they spotted a shark, and they put the siren on, and everybody had to get out of the water. Or there's a black flag at Muizenberg beach that says, ‘There could be sharks in the water’, to come out. 

“And I know my fellow South Africans know what I'm talking about. We don't get SMSes to warn us, it is to tell us to get a funeral plan; ‘Congratulations, you can get life insurance’, or you must pay your TV license. 

“So, ja, just getting used to all the moving parts. I'm safe. I'm at peace, and I say this with lots of love. As South Africans, we find humour in the toughest of times because that's what has carried us as people. Thanks for all the love. I appreciate you. Yeah, I’m in my ‘sharks spotted’ era.”

From cancelled flights to zero expense

For those wondering if tourists are being taken care of, Oliver confirmed it after being asked: “Dalin, must you pay for your own accommodation in Dubai while you're in transit to Adelaide Fringe? What's happening?”

He says, “Yes, I’m still stuck in Dubai. Aweh, my fellow South Africans and people of the internet. No, I don't have to pay for my own accommodation. I love my country. I'm from South Africa, but our currency is the rand and those of you who know the rand, know that the rand don’t rand outside of the rand.

“If the rand must rand outside of the rand, the rand is very traumatised, and the rand is stressful, and it goes on strike … the rand is like a vegan in a butchery. It's just very weak and very stressed. It sommer (simply) has allergies.

"It sommer has outbursts. It's like a cold fizzer that you put in the freezer and it gets tight. And if you try to stretch it, it snaps, okay?”

From stranded to supported

“So this is the situation. Flights get cancelled on Saturday afternoon. I then go to the airport. Airspace is shut down. What happens then? I'm with Emirates,” he shared. 

“There's thousands of airline passengers, Emirates puts us all in queues, they give us snacks and drinks to make us feel at peace and calm. They then tell us, ‘at our costs’, which is Emirates costs, we covering your accommodation, we're sending you to hotels via shuttles. 

“We then get bused. From there, they tell us check in with the reception the next day to see the way forward. We check in with the reception, the reception says, airspace is still shut down, Emirates will cover, your stay, they will extend your stay and give you breakfast, lunch, and supper at their cost. Boss move, the rand don’t have to rand.”

He continued: “Then the government comes in with an even bosser move and says, all people who were in transit or travelling to Dubai or are here, who are stuck here, we'll cover the flights and accommodation for extended stays, boss move the rand don’t have to rand.

“So shout out to the government and the authorities for making us, as foreigners in your country, feel as peaceful and as safe as possible. That rand don’t have to rand. I'm at peace, I'm safe, I'm calm, but I'm still stuck in Dubai, aweh.”