Tottenham's relegation nightmare: Why Spurs fans are longing for Daniel Levy

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, but usually, that refers to a reliable toaster or a chap that knows what he is doing when it comes to pool maintenance.

Nobody ever thought it would apply to a man whose primary hobby appeared to be charging £80 (about R1800) for a view of a corner flag and calculating the compound interest on a sky-walk at the top of a stadium.

Yet, here we are as Tottenham Hotspur fans, staring down the barrel of a rainy Tuesday night trip to Stoke City next season and are now longing for the days when Daniel Levy was still in charge of the club.

After years of complaining about "stagnation" while finishing fourth and watching Champions League nights under the glow of that golden cockerel, we finally achieved the "change" we craved before the season kicked off. It turns out the change was loose coins I keep in the car to tip a car guard who appears at my car door when the reverse lights go on.

The post-Levy era was supposed to be the great liberation of the Spurs. No more “Levy Out” banners fluttering in the North London breeze; no more spreadsheets masquerading as squad depth.

Well, what we got is a new hierarchy who are about to do the unthinkable, relegate a club who only last season won the Europa League and play in a £1 billion stadium. We traded the man who haggled over £5 million (about R112m) for Bruno Fernandes for a regime that seems to think a "rebuilding phase" involves selling the Uefa Europa League final match winner Brennan Johnson.

The irony is delicious. We used to moan that Daniel treated the club like a real estate investment. Now, as we sit seventeenth in the table, clinging to safety by the skin of our goal-difference, we would give anything for a bit of that cold, calculated fiscal responsibility of a man.

Under Levy, the books were balanced and we were safe even if the trophy cabinet was suspiciously airy. he also had the conviction to pull the trigger when it comes to an underperforming manager, and not wait for February when the chickens are at the doorstep to roost.

The "To Dare is to Do" motto has taken on a sinister new meaning. We dared to wish for a new dawn, and we did ourselves right into the relegation zone. So, now I have reached a level of desperation where we think bringing back Levy would be the right thing to do.

We are ready to forgive the ticket price hikes, or being linked to Paulo Dybala again without actually signing him. We are ready to ignore the fact that the most exciting thing to happen at the club for three years was a Formula One track in the underground parking area.

Most of all, we forgive you for sacking Ange Postecoglou a few weeks after winning the Europa League. We just want someone who knows how to negotiate a contract without accidentally selling our top scorer from last season.

So, Daniel, if you’re reading this from a yacht or a high-security vault somewhere, consider this an open invitation.

All is forgiven. The scouting network can go back to being a single dial-up modem in a basement. The manager can be whoever is cheapest and has a decent waistcoat. Just save us from the ignominy of the Championship.

We promise to never mention the lack of trophies ever again, mostly because, at this rate, the Championship play-off trophy is the only one we’ll be eligible for in 2027.

Come home, Mr Levy. The sky-walk is lonely without you.