This could be the real shark tank!

Last weekend Sepp Blatter, the head of Fifa, said the 2010 Soccer World Cup would be the biggest event ever to take place in Africa - and it was unlikely that the Olympic Games would come to this continent.

While Blatter is the head honcho for the round-ball game, he is also on the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and was speaking with his IOC hat on, metaphorically at least.

"If the Olympic Games are not going into a rotation, then I do not see how the Olympic Games can come to Africa," said Blatter. "That is my view as a member of the IOC."

Now, Durban has long been talking up its potential as an Olympic host and has spent a lot of time justifying the R3.5 billion cost of the Moses Mabhida Stadium. So, if the stadium is only going to host seven World Cup matches in 2010, we're looking at a construction with a cost of R500 million a game.

Of course, as Durban Central Football League media officer Enzo Coppola said recently, Durban should have been part of the hosting of the Confederations Cup.

The only reason he can think of why we are not is that "one can only assume that the organisers did not want to stage a match at the Absa Stadium because then they would be tacitly admitting that the construction of the new Moses Mabhida Stadium did not have to take place!

"Just think of all the money that could have been saved if that was the case."

Yes, the money - in excess of R1 billion of ratepayer's hard-earned cash, along with the input from province and central government - that could have been spent in jacking up the facilities at local football venues such as Havelock Park, Workington Road, Asherville, Berea Park, John Dory and New West Centre, all operating without suitable lights, ablutions or sufficient security.

So, what are we going to do with this stadium after 2010?

A few suggestions:

- What about blocking off the lower access points around the ground and filling it up with water? Durban could do with a public-funded loss-making water theme park.

What's that? We have one, called uShaka? Oh. Well, at least this one has a water-related name: Moses. Having a dry walkway through the middle would be a wonderful thing - and might even be feasible, as long as these guys haven't used the same substandard construction materials as the park at the other end of the Marine Parade.

As a giant aquarium, many of our local species of sharks could be placed in there and viewed from the stands - they could then bill it as "The Real Shark Tank" and put the guys across the road out of business.

- Alternatively, persuade or strongarm the Sharks rugby team into moving across the road from Absa Stadium.

They're the only team in town that could at least draw 30 000 people there on a regular basis. But there would have to be some incentive, such as being permitted to keep some of the revenues generated by the corporate suites which would otherwise stand empty.

- Put forward to the government the suggestion that a referendum be held on the re-introduction of the death penalty. It would be an overwhelming success and then public executions could be held, with the city splitting the proceeds with the families of crime victims.

With 70 000 people at R100 a head (no, you do get to keep yours and take it home still attached), the stadium would quickly pay for itself.