A gay Rugby World Cup - darling please

Well how about this? News has just reached Lifting the Covers that there is to be a Gay Rugby World Cup which kicks-off in Dublin in Ireland on Friday. Yes I kid you not.

Now let me say straight away that I am all for gay rights, so why not stage a World Cup for them? Apparently it is the second-largest biennial amateur rugby tournament in the world.

The 2006 cup, which took place in New York, was the biggest yet. Thirty teams drawn from clubs around the world competed in the three-day tournament.

The Dublin tournament is expected to exceed these figures with more than 800 participants already registered for the competition, which will take place this coming weekend.

Sponsored by a bookmakers organisation called Paddy Power, the gays will be playing for something called the Bingham Cup.

Again this got me thinking about the many gays we have in this country and around the world. There are already Gay parades, gay magazines, gay movies, gay marriages, gay bars in Durban (yes I even visited the Lounge in Stamford Hill Road the other night, but that is another story) and so on and so forth.

Ok, to tell you the truth I was dragged there by two straight women who just happen to like the club and of course they don't get hassled by the guys. Ok, now you know!

When I first heard about this Gay World Cup, I immediately thought of Butch James. Now there's a name to conjure with. I hope Butch is not reading this because he would probably come into the office and give me one of his famous armless tackles and knock me out, but I suppose the name Butch is more suited to a Lesbian World Cup. You know what I mean?

But my brain is racing furiously and I can just imagine what the conversation would be like in the changerooms if South African gays held their version of the Super 14 or Currie Cup.

Jacobus: Hey, Hennie this blerry scrumcap is killing me. Do you have any vaseline that I can rub on my bald kop

Johann: Ag, Jacobus, stop moaning. You are like an old woman. I am having enough problems with this jock strap.

Clive: Stop it okes, you are making me laugh and I am not going into that first maul with my make-up running down my face.

Hennie: That reminds me, can I borrow your eye liner. Those bliksem New Zealanders scare the hell out of me when they do the Haka. So I am going to use this eye liner and paint my face. That will give them a skrik (fright).

Cyril: Hey, has anyone seen my G-string. The coach wants me to play prop and boy it's good to get a grip on the G-string to hold up the scrum.

Referee: Ok, let's go darlings. I want a nice, clean match. And no handbags or cellphones allowed in the rucks. And when I say you will be penalised for bringing down the maul, don't complain.

Johann: What, Mr Ref, are you suggesting we are going to pull down the Pav or Gateway?

Ref: Not that mall, stupid

Yes, it's all quite unusual. What I am really looking forward to is the first scrum when the referee has to say those words: Touch, Pause ... Engage!! Who knows what that might lead to?