Selection quandary for Proteas
Neil McKenzie is an easygoing sort of bloke, which is just as well considering the conspiracy theories that are swirling around him like the winds that buffet Table Mountain.
McKenzie has been drafted into the South African squad, ostensibly as a replacement for the struggling Herschelle Gibbs, for the second Castle Lager Test against the West Indies at Newlands today.
Surely he must play, otherwise what would be the point of putting him in the mix? After all, he isn't a second spinner or cover for an injured player.
But none of the usual suspects would put the media - and therefore the public - out of their misery on Tuesday.
"No final decisions have been made on the team, there's no clarity at the moment," said South African captain Graeme Smith, adding a quick: "Sorry."
"The selection of the team has been left up to team management," said selection boss Joubert Strydom.
"The captain, the coach, the assistant coach and the Cricket South Africa president will make the decision."
That, of course, means Norman Arendse will be involved, and that scares some people. As CSA president, it's Arendse's duty to ratify team selections. But the rumour that he has in the past meddled in selection issues, a charge he has denied, is haunting McKenzie's recall.
All of which, of course, detracts from the fact that McKenzie is a fine player who has earned his recall to a Test arena he last graced four years ago.
He has been a rock in the Highveld Lions' top order this season, and if he is given the chance to play what would be his 42nd Test, here's hoping he makes the most of his opportunity. As they say in the classics, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
If South Africa do include McKenzie, it will mark the first time in six Tests that they have changed their XI.
Besides, South Africa's batting could do with dose of solidification in the wake of the brittle display they delivered in the first Test in Port Elizabeth, where the West Indians earned their first win in 10 Tests in South Africa with a convincing 128-run victory.
"PE was disappointing for us, and it's important that we bounce back," Smith said.
"We had a very good training session yesterday, and we seem to be hitting our straps again.
"Hopefully it's just about executing and getting things right out in the middle. We know we're capable of it, we've proven our worth."
That worth will have to come to the fore over the next five days, because South Africa face the mortifying prospect of a series defeat to a side rated second from the bottom in the ICC Test rankings.
"We know we're going to play this game under pressure, and we know we can play a lot better than we did in PE," Smith said.
"Our bowlers struggled to hit their lengths, and as much as we spoke about it we just couldn't get it right."
For inspiration to do so, the South Africans need look no further than the opposition attack.
"They're exciting fast bowlers," Smith said.
"They have pace, and they hit the right areas.
"They're going to take wickets with the new ball, that's the challenge and it's up to us to curb it."
But it was South Africa's batting in Port Elizabeth that was even more alarmingly short on ideas and application.
"It's important that the top three lay a platform for the rest of us, we know that," Smith said, and added that the pitch should not trip up his team's ambitions to redeem themselves.
"It looks like a pretty good surface. It's probably the best coverage of grass I've seen at Newlands for a while," Smith said.
"It has been a bit patchy in the past couple of years, but this looks pretty good.
"It looks like it might take a bit of spin later in the game. Hopefully it has a good bit of bounce in it."
So the nation awaits the resurrection of the team that triumphed in Pakistan and obliterated New Zealand before coming unstuck against the Windies.
Perhaps we should remember that last season South Africa twice stared ignominy in its jaundiced eyes when they slipped to defeats against Pakistan and India.
Losing a home series to either of those teams would have been a disaster.
We should also not forget that they twice dug themselves out of the hole in handsome fashion.