Music to one's ears, as opposed to vuvuzelas

It's time for local sports fans to up the stakes in entertainment ... and we can start by banning the vuvuzela.

That sad assault on our senses is a reflection of how dull our soccer fans are - they clearly lack the imagination of countries like England, where the wit that spontaneously emanates from the terraces livens up proceedings and makes just being at the game worthwhile, regardless of the outcome of the match.

An example is Everton's new chant, which pays homage to their own Bafana Bafana midfield maestro, Steven Pienaar.

Set to the tune of the old Irish pub song The Music Man that has been sung by, among many others, our local Blarney Brothers, the Toffees have adapted the words slightly: "I am the Music Man; I come from far away/And I can play (what can you play?)/I Play The Pienaar!; Pi Pi Pienaaaaaar!" and so on.

Or the variation on Lord of the Dance as sung by Manchester City fans serenading manager Sven Goran Eriksson for turning around the club's playing fortunes: "Sven, Sven wherever you may be/You are the pride of Man City/You can sh.g my wife on our settee/If we win a cup at Wem-ber-lee."

Refrains like "You only sing while you're winning" when the volume goes up from those backing the team that has just scored, or "Can we play you every week" as fans taunt a side being given a football lesson by "their" team are a regular occurrence.

The instant responses are sometimes classic. Recently the Newcastle fans were chanting "Shearer, Shearer" in homage to their hero, and their opponents Blackburn responded "Where did Shearer win the league?"

Of course, in order to achieve a proper local following here, clubs need to have a permanent home - this means no transferring of "franchises" like Benoni United becoming Thanda Royals in Durban - and being based at one home ground. Fans should support their teams in their own areas, whether they win or lose.

Because otherwise the atmosphere at the grounds will remain as poor as the teams' performances on the pitch.

- What do you think? Mail me at the above address with your thoughts and we will publish a selection of your responses

Durbanites and sports stars from KwaZulu-Natal continue to shine in all corners of the globe and as the year comes to an end we have our penultimate Sunday Tribune Roll of Honour for 2007.

We have Dougie Whyte, winning the International Jockeys' Championship in Hong Kong, and the "Durban Demon" as he is known in the Chinese enclave equalled the Hong Kong record for winning rides in a career - 946 - and today has a chance to break that record.

Whyte, champion jockey in Hong Kong on six occasions, also won the IJC series in 2002.

This week Whyte won in front of a crowd of 20 579 and betting for the night totalled HK$753-million (R700-million).

Other stars this month include bowls star Derek Lobban, of Northlands, who was a member of the victorious SA Disabled fours side that won the gold medal in the fours at the World Championships for the Disabled in Australia (See p23)

Golfer Pam Hayward, the winner of the KZN Order of Merit 2007 and who lifted the Champion of Champions title two weeks ago.

MotoGP rider Mathew Scholtz of Durban has qualified to race in the Redbull Rookies Team.

He is the first South African to be selected and will race in 13 events in nine countries in the prelim races for the MotoGP Stars in 2008 (see below).

Sailing: Durban Clipper team who won the leg of the Clipper Round the World race from France to Salvador in Brazil.