Argus boys poking fun at manhole bruises

Group L has to be the best bunch to be cycling with in the Cape Argus/Pick 'n Pay Cycle Tour.

I'm a near veteran, with seven cycle tours, and I've tried a few groups - or rather starting batches - and I can honestly say that Group L has it all.

Consisting predominantly of men of the age of 40 or thereabouts, it has the right blend of serious cycling, fun and enjoyment.

With the exception of yours truly, who has just completed his training for the 2001 Cycle Tour, the majority of riders in Group L are reasonably fit, and have put in decent training. Everything on the riders is relatively thin, from waistline to hairline. Their bikes are expensive, and the bikers are decked out in flashy gear.

Ignoring Darren Scott's rabble-rousing cheers, Group L slipped quietly off at the start of the Tour last weekend, with the aim of completing the 109km ride. Their pace was fast but not furious.

Politeness was the order of the day - "Excuse me, coming through"; plenty of help and encouragement, too - "Bruce, you're in the wrong gear".

"If you move to the left, you'll miss the manholes." I'd managed to hit every manhole from Kalk Bay to St James.

"Not good for the rims and tyres." Not good for the rear end either!

"Try wearing two pairs of cycling shorts next year, Bruce, it'll help".

Group L riders end up with times in the 3:20 to 4:20 range, and since everyone knows roughly what time you finished, there's no need for embarrassing questions. No one in L would dream of going for a time of 2:39 as Morne Bester, the eventual winner, did. That would require daredevil descending, at 100km/h. When this group went down Ou Kaapseweg, there was squealing and whining of of brakes aplenty. No kamikaze-types are welcome; most of these riders have families and friends they want to see again.

This group seems to have a collective sense of humour, always laughing and telling jokes. So, it was no surprise that my gear selection on the five-kilometre Ou Kaapseweg was a cause for great mirth. Wanting to show that I could pedal strongly up the hills, I saved my granny gear for the latter half of the climb.

As the incline grew steeper and my legs began to ache more and more, it was comforting to know that I still had that gear in reserve, to help relieve the excruciating build-up of lactic acid.

When my legs could no longer take the pain, I flicked the gear lever. Nothing happened. I was already in the granny gear!

"It's no use looking down, you've been in that gear since the start of the climb," commented one rider.

This was followed by polite laughter from the rest of the riders in the group. Realising that gear you thought you had in reserve isn't there is rather like the empty chocolate bar wrapper.

An experience all of these riders have gone through.

Group L riders accept that these disappointments are part of a mature Cycle Tour rider's day. This is why the membership of this group is limited to those who are old enough to remember what they were doing the day President John F Kennedy was shot in Dallas.

Most riders in this group acknowledged that this year's Tour - because of the closure of Chapman's Peak, and re-routing of the course - had a tougher finish than in previous years. And all concurred that this year's event was the best organised ever.

Hospital Bend, Groote Schuur and the nameless near-vertical climb towards the end, may have caused at least two more granny gear episodes, but the wonderful experience that was this year's Tour more than compensated for everything.

If the visiting Fifa delegates need any evidence that this country can organise, manage and produce big sporting events, the Tour is proof.

All those involved in organising the Tour seemed to have done magnificent jobs. This, I'm sure all the Group L riders will acknowledge.