WATCH: Cape Town mother exposes decades of family abuse after own children become victims

As a nation of women stand together in solidarity against GBV, a brave Cape Town woman has placed an end to generational incest, coming forward after more than three decades as her teenage daughters and a niece have also allegedly become the latest victims of her 74-year-old stepfather in Atlantis.

President Cyril Ramaphosa took the bold step to declare GBV both a national state and global crisis of disaster on Thursday.

Experts in psychology and trauma have described it as generational abuse, which sets a sad pattern where victims are forced to remain silent because their truths could destroy a family.

In an exclusive interview with the Cape Argus, the 42-year-old woman has shared her harrowing and heart-wrenching story of how she allegedly became a victim of rape and sexual abuse at the tender age of six - only to be silenced by her own mother after a case was opened so many years ago.

Then a few months ago, the demons of the past returned - with her two daughters aged 14 and 10 and a 13-year-old niece, who is the man's biological granddaughter breaking their silence.

In a bid to end the alleged sexual abuse, the mother said she too opened a case - for the second time against her stepfather, after her mother died.

Police spokesperson, Sergeant Wesley Twigg confirmed the cases made: “A 74-year-old male was arrested and appeared in court, where the case was remanded until 10 December 2025.”

Today, she lives with resentment, pain, and betrayal, and even hatred towards her mother, who she said silenced her in order to protect their family.

When she was six years old, her mother reached out to former ward councillor and GBV activist, Barbara Rass, who runs a shelter for abused women in Atlantis, and today she is back under her wing.

“I was six years old when my father abused me, and my mother reached out to activist Barbara Rass, and she came and spoke to my mother, and then all of a sudden my mother said she did not want to open a case anymore,” she explained.

“She questioned what would happen to our family as my stepdad was the breadwinner, and they went on to have two boys together, my brothers.

“He promised after that he would never lay his hands on me again or touch me again and that he would not do drugs anymore.”

Then a few months ago, when she broke her silence after decades, her worst nightmare came true: “On September 12, I told my kids what happened to me, and they said, Mommy, pa did this and then my niece said he did the same to her, I couldn't listen to it, it made me so sick.

“I sought advice, and I was told to go to Thuthuzela Centre, and then my brother’s child, who used to live with him, she was also medically examined, and doctors said there were scarring by her private parts. Then it also came to light; my brother said the school contacted my parents, but they were not home; they contacted my mother to say they were taking her to the same centre for rape victims.

“Then I learnt that this child was taken there when she was in Grade R; she told a teacher that her private parts were sore, and I did not even know about that. If I had known then, I would have done something.

“My mother should have known better; my children said they told my mother while I was away on holiday in 2023, this is what Pa is doing and the niece.

“She said they must not make up lies and they must tell no one; my mother never told me.”

She said the case has had a ripple effect on her children’s lives and that she later learnt that more relatives were alleged victims and that she had sought counselling from her church: “My 14-year-old tried to commit suicide in the beginning of the year, and now I know why she wanted to do that because she was suffering in silence.

“You have no idea how I feel, knowing that my silence, and other relatives, and my children and a niece, became victims.

“I went to my church; I needed spiritual guidance; I said I feel a hatred towards my mother... she was my best friend, and the way I feel now, it is a feeling I have never felt before. I don’t think I hate anyone so much in my life, the way I hate my mother right now.”

Rass told Cape Argus that justice would be the victory and healing the family needs: “This lady was six when he started with this, and today she is a mother of five; it is her children that are going through this; this is a travesty of justice.

“I had to keep my tears; it is something that will never go away, but the least that can be done is for justice to prevail.”

Celeste Louw TEARS, general manager of operations, said the impact of generational abuse was destructive.

“As with any form of generational abuse, the deepest sadness lies in the fact that these patterns do not repeat because families are cursed or destined to suffer. They repeat because silence protects perpetrators and traps victims in stories they never chose. When children are taught that speaking out will break the family, they learn to carry pain that was never meant to belong to them,” she said.

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Cape Argus