Nadia Jaftha explains 'aura farming' and the case against oversharing in social settings

There’s a very specific kind of silence that hits when you get home after oversharing. When you replay the conversation in your head and think, why on earth did I tell them that?

It’s usually a stranger, or someone you barely know. I would know, I’ve had my fair share.

You start casually, they ask one question, and suddenly your verbal diarrhoea is triggered, and the next thing you know, you’re unpacking your life story like you’ve been waiting for a therapist, not a taxi queue conversation. 

You didn’t even plan to say all that. It just… happened. And the regret? Immediate, or delayed, but it's always loud.

That exact feeling is what content creator Nadia Jaftha tapped into when she shared a reminder about oversharing and why silence doesn’t mean you’re failing socially.

Taking to Instagram, Jaftha admitted she’s been guilty of filling space just for the sake of it, especially in social settings where you feel pressure to contribute.

She explained how, when sitting in company, there’s often this urge to prove yourself by talking more, saying something interesting, or revealing something personal. 

The truth, though, as she put it, is that most strangers don’t actually care enough to need your full backstory.

“You don’t have to explain your life story, the prequel, the sequel,” she said, adding that we’ve somehow been conditioned to believe that if we’re not trauma bonding or entertaining, then we’re socially failing.

“It’s okay to feel out of space, speak when you’re comfortable. It’s just gonna add to your, what’s it called? What do they call it? The Gen Z? Aura farming. Your mystique.”

If you’re chronically online, you already know some words from the Gen Z slang dictionary. Aura farming is basically when you do less, say less, and somehow come across as cooler because of it. It’s the art of minding your business and letting silence do the heavy lifting.

The 33-year-old content creator pointed out that feeling awkward in conversations is far more common than we think. While you’re worrying about how you’re coming across, everyone else is usually stuck in their own head, doing the same thing. 

Oversharing, she said, often comes from that discomfort, the need to fill silence so it doesn’t feel heavy or embarrassing.

Instead, she encouraged people to get comfortable with saying less and speaking only when they actually feel comfortable. Allowing yourself to just respond with “I’m alright” when someone asks how you are, especially if they don’t know you like that.

Jaftha also shared that looking back, there are many things she wishes she had kept to herself. Not out of shame, but because not everyone deserves access to your inner world. A friendly reminder.