60 years of love: Sam and Babes Doorasamy shares their secret recipe to a successful marriage
Babes and Sam Doorasamy celebrated 60 years of marriage
Image: Ian Landsberg
In an age of dating apps and love expressed through emojis, comes an old-fashioned love story that has endured for more than 60 years.
Two days before Valentine's Day, Sam (88) and Babes (79), Doorasamy celebrated 60 years of marriage, but still look at each other with the affection of newlyweds. Their love story, which began in 1963, is one rooted in fate, faith and determination, blossoming during a time when life in KwaZulu-Natal was shaped by the harsh realities of the Group Areas Act.
Today, the couple enjoys their retirement years together in Cape Town, reflecting on a lifetime of memories built side by side.
The couple were both settled in Chatsworth after being moved from different areas. By coincidence, they found themselves living in the same street, a twist of fate that would change their lives forever. Sam fondly recalls the first time he saw Babes.
“She was passing my home on the way to the bus stop. She immediately caught my eye. I thought, wow,” Sam said with a smile.
“The second day, while sipping my tea, I saw that same figure walking past me again. On the third day, I told myself I would have to make a move to get her attention.”
Sam and Babes look back at their wedding pics
Image: Ian Landsberg
Determined not to let the moment pass him by, Sam walked to the bus stop and boarded the same bus as Babes, despite not knowing where it was headed.
“I didn’t even know where I was going, but I got on as a standing passenger,” he recalled.
“I made my way close to where she was standing and when the bus stopped, I pretended as if I was falling against her. I said sorry and asked her to hold my lunchbox. She didn’t mind, and that’s how we started talking.”
Sam admits his charms did not end there.
“When the conductor came around to collect the fare, I paid for her. She asked why I would do that. After that, we met again, but this time I was still a standing passenger. I made sure to get a seat next to her, and that is where it all started 63 years ago.”
The pair dated for three years before marrying, building a life together grounded in love and perseverance.
For Sam, it was love at first sight.
He said Babes’ honesty and caring nature made him certain she was the woman he wanted to spend his life with. But their journey together would not only shape their love story, it would also shape Sam as a person.
“When she met me, I was naughty. I was caught up in the wrong things,” Sam admitted. “But this woman didn’t give up on me. She went on her knees and prayed for me, and her prayers took me out of that lifestyle. My life changed after that and soon we ended up getting married.”
The couple on their wedding day.
Image: Supplied.
Throughout their 60 years together, several milestones strengthened their bond. The couple remembers starting out by renting a home, but being allocated a house through the municipality remains one of their proudest moments. Building a family soon followed, and today they are the proud parents of three children and grandparents to two grandchildren.
“This is what we are most proud of,” the couple said. “Through our love, we have our children and grandchildren.”
The Doorasamys believe their marriage has endured because they never took their vows lightly. Keeping faith at the centre of their relationship, they say, became their greatest strength and guiding force through every season of life.
Like most marriages, theirs has faced challenges. Yet, Babes said giving up was never an option.
“During difficult times, we never gave up. We kept the faith and we kept hope alive,” she said.
Sharing advice with younger couples, the Doorasamys are honest about the realities of marriage.
“Marriage is not a bed of roses,” they said. “You are going to get problems, small and big, but it is important to patch it up before the sun goes down. Give each other a chance to talk.
“Listen, listen to understand, not to defend yourself. I don’t think we ever went to bed angry at each other. Go on your knees and pray and don’t forget your marriage vows. That is the most important. Remember your vows and take them literally.”
Sixty years ago the couple said 'I do'.
Image: Supplied.
Sam added with a laugh, “And always remember your wife is never wrong.” His comment was met with laughter from Babes, who sat beside him, sharing the moment.
The couple said they believe modern relationships often falter because people forget the love that brought them together.
“Nowadays, young married couples easily give up on one another,” they said.
“That is because you forget the love you once had and start seeing only problems in each other. Don’t do that.”
While Valentine’s Day has grown into a highly commercialised occasion over the years, the couple believes love should never be confined to one day.
“When we were younger, Valentine’s Day was not a big event,” Sam explained.
“Over the years it has become quite commercialised, but we learnt to make every day special.”
The Doorasamys in their home.
Image: Supplied.
Babes laughed as she recalled how romance looked very different when they were young.
“In fact, back then there was no such thing as Valentine’s Day. You would need to charm each other every day,” she said.
Sam nodded in agreement. “Yes, and Valentine’s Day is for couples under 30,” he joked. “When you are over 30 with children, you wait for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Otherwise, you should love each other every day.”
In closing, the couple shared a united message about the meaning of marriage and lasting love.
“Marriage is about building together, growing together and loving one another with renewed love every day,” they said. “And please stop making the mistake of bringing up the past. Unless it is something good, don’t dwell on the past. Build together, grow together and love one another.”