Johannesburg - Singing sensation, Moneoa Moshesh’s live Instagram video where she shared gut-wrenching details about her five-year relationship with her ex-boyfriend shocked many.
In the video, she shared how her ex-boyfriend Phiwe Maphanga allegedly abused her physically, psychologically and financially. Thinking about her ordeal, a book comes to mind where a woman shares her experience of how she yearned for lies to soothe painful truths about the man she married. Phindile Yende’s A Marriage Built On Lies is that book.
It is about the lies she was told by the man she thought she loved. She experienced abuse and was depressed. Some of these lies included her husband telling her he didn’t have any children from a previous relationship when in fact he had a son. Him saying he had an emergency work meeting to attend when he would be on his way to meet another woman.
She said this is a personal book about her years of marriage and that she knew within six months of the marriage that it would not work. Her first book, Yet, You Married Him: The Signs Are Always There, published in April 2021 focused on women and the red flags they often ignore when they want to get married or stay married.
A Marriage Built On Lies is written in eighteen chapters and Yende allows herself to share various moments and experiences of hurt, shame and infidelity.
“There was a lot of continuous cheating, him speaking down on me, there was this resentment that was there before we got married but I still married him -- that made me feel so less about myself,” she said, speaking about the book.
Because she wanted a perfect marriage, she would cover up those lies because she didn’t want certain truths to be revealed. Growing up she had a good life, coming from a well-off family and she wanted that kind of life for herself as an adult.
“I was covering up my insecurities and own flaws. There were a lot of things happening that showed that this was not going to last, from bad business deals that were a reflection on who he was but I somehow took that and made it my problem, whereas it wasn’t my problem to carry. I was so insecure about a lot of things and wanted to keep this picture that my life is good,” she said.
Yende, who wears many hats, is the proud founder of Ruo and Rui Group, a 100% black female-owned company specialising in healthcare, clothing and textile manufacturing including project management.
A Marriage Built On Lies is available at all major bookstores.