Cape Town – The start of October normally heralds in the wedding season in Mzansi.
Suddenly the “save the date” emails are transformed into outrageous wedding invitations, which normally takes a degree in bio-chemistry to open, and your weekends are spent trying to strike up a conversation with strangers around a table, which soon goes into “how wet was the winter this year?”.
Women seem to be in their element and take no prisoners in the shops, because the advent of social network sites like Facebook and Instagram are responsible for the fact that they can’t wear the same dress twice because wedding pics are broadcast before the groom can change his mind.
Factor in the costs of a wedding gift, the cost of the baby sister, the cash bar, and petrol because your cousin Howard is getting married in Kathu, and it could be a long summer for you and your credit card.
Some people also need to buy a big pot of deep heat for the stiffness the morning after for dancing like a teenager the night before.
For the men, though, the biggest concern is that a wedding could fall on the same day as a big sporting event.
The Currie Cup final is especially a favourite date for some people. These days, though, the guys make a plan with their gadgets, although you mustn’t get too excited and shout “YES” when the priest ask “does anybody object to this marriage?”.
However, weddings are mostly fun, a celebration of people coming together and generally just having a good time. You also hope that the couples getting married won’t kill each other after a year.
This year the wedding season has coincided with a number of Premier Soccer League coaches getting “divorced” from their clubs and “marrying” a different club. It has almost been like wife or husband swapping their partner.
Ernst Middendorp and Clinton Larsen swapped jobs – and Pietermaritzburg for Bloemfontein – while Mark Harrison decided to leave the National First Division for the PSL by dropping Chippa United for Goldon Arrows.
Boebie Solomons was flirting with FC Cape Town for a while, but it seems Polokwane City has won his heart, and has offered him a bigger diamond ring.
New Safa president Danny Jordaan is also looking to get married, to a few new sponsors that is. Puma and Absa have decided to leave Bafana Bafana, the court papers saying the national team is “no good” and didn’t perform, er, on the field.
So Danny will have his work cut out to make Bafana more attractive, because ugly and overweight people seldom land up with a sugar daddy or a sugar mommy. All we can say is good luck to those coaches at their new clubs, and we hope that you least get to keep your dog in the divorce.
TWEETS OF WEEK
@Joey7Barton (Barton defends England coach Roy Hodgson following a “monkey” comment): No way Roy meant anything offensive. PC brigade getting all worked up over fook all again. Back under your boulders you belters...
@MichaelEssien (the Chelsea man is happy after their 6-1 win over Egypt): Great game today, well done boys and thanks to the fans for the wonderful support #ghana #BlackStars.
WHO TO FOLLOW
@fifamedia: Follow the Fifa media department to find out all the details of next year’s World Cup in football’s spiritual home Brazil.
*Follow John Goliath on Twitter – @JohnGoliath82
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Cape Times