From the moment a couple finds out they are pregnant, it's all eyes on the mom-to-be.
Everyone seems to forget about poor dad, as if he has no hang-ups and will spontaneously fulfil his role as soon as baby arrives.
Experts have been advocating for years for dads to become more involved in the pregnancy, childbirth and baby care business.
Some people still believe the mother's role is more important, but that doesn't have to be the case.
Yes, moms naturally carry the baby for nine months, they breastfeed and they tend to spend more time with their child, courtesy of maternity leave or the man being the sole breadwinner.
But we know from experience that baby care isn't a mysterious art magically bestowed only on women.
Just take a look at the number of abandoned babies in our city.
Research proves that fathers make just as good parents as moms and the paternal instinct to love and protect is as strong as the lofty female equivalent - if it's allowed to develop.
Nowadays, 90 percent of fathers are present in the delivery room and nearly half attend scans.
Many dads express a longing to be part of the process, but feel excluded to some degree.
In the United Kingdom, guides are given to fathers-to-be on what to expect, including information on how to support their partner and the benefits of breastfeeding.
South Africa should follow - perhaps our men will think twice about using contraception and teenage boys may want to curb their enthusiasm when they see what fatherhood entails.
This information can be made freely available at clinics, day hospitals and libraries.
Research has found that early paternal involvement is much more important than previously thought.
And it's not just about taking the pressure off women.
Dads who are positively involved from early on are more likely to stick around throughout childhood and teens, with lasting benefits.
Swedish research over 20 years found that children with hands-on dads were less likely to have behavioural or psychological problems.
They were less likely to smoke and get in trouble and more likely to do well at school and develop good friendships with children of both sexes.
Tips for dads:
- Knowledge is power: Watch pregnancy and birth DVDs, surf the Internet or read books so you can feel prepared for what's in store.
This will also help you understand what's going on in your partner's body and the physical and emotional changes she's experiencing.
- Go to antenatal visits and scans: You can ask the experts questions and you'll find out all about the different stages of birth, methods of pain relief and how you can best help your partner.
- Decide together: There are lots of decisions to be made and two heads are better than one. Your partner might feel insecure about a lot of things if it's her first time and will appreciate your calm and (hopefully) rational input.
- Understand your partner's bodily changes: She will be more tired than usual and her sex drive may change - some women become horny, while others are just not interested.
- Practice makes perfect: If the birth is going to be in hospital, do a dummy run and drive there beforehand so you can make sure you know the exact route.
- Be supportive during birth: Be there for her physically and emotionally. Reassure and encourage her and make her comfortable, such as massaging her back during contractions.
- Bond quickly: Hold your baby as soon as you can after birth, even if only for a few moments. Make eye contact and talk to your baby, he or she will bond with your voice.
- Don't be intimidated: Parenting skills are learned on the job, start changing, bathing, feeding and burping your baby as soon as possible.
- Encourage breastfeeding: Mums are twice as likely to continue breastfeeding if their partners are aware of the many health benefits for both baby and mom.
- Take time off work: In South Africa, fathers are entitled to paternity leave, although it's only three days. Many dads are forced to put in their annual leave. But ask your boss about flexible working hours, so you can get home in time to help bath the new arrival in your family.
Celeb dads
They never thought they'd get it right, but these celeb dads prove that even with a busy lifestyle and hectic work schedules you can be a great father.
Famous parents often get a bad rap, but some of these dads are just as devoted to their offspring as us normal people.
Actor Will Smith dotes on his three kids and loves to take them to movie premieres.
The world's most powerful man, American president Barack Obama, sends messages to his daughters in his political speeches.
Priorities
Sexy Johnny Depp has two children, and knows where his priorities lie. "I would give away everything if I could only keep my family," he has said.
Unlike most of us, hunky Hugh Jackman actually can't wait to talk to his two kids about the birds and the bees. "My dad never ever did it with me so I was very adamant that I was going to do it with my son," he has said.
Doting dad Matt Damon loves being the only man in the house, but says sometimes it can be tough being out-voted by his wife and three daughters.
Footie star David Beckham loves his boys. "Three boys is difficult at times, but there's nothing that gives you that feeling of coming home and seeing the kids and spending time with them," Becks says.
Our list would be incomplete without super-dad Brad Pitt, who once said that he would be happy with 14 children. He's already on six - and counting...
Pregnancy prepares a woman for motherhood; follow these tips to prepare your partner for fatherhood.
- Discuss how you both feel throughout the pregnancy. Men also get anxious about their impending fatherhood.
- Ask him to come along to antenatal appointments and scans.
- Involve him in all birth-and-baby-related decisions like buying prams and nappies.
- It is important that you find out and discuss how things are likely to change. Your finances will be affected, you won't be able to just go out at the drop of a hat.
n Take turns to get up when the baby cries. Studies show that the more a father holds his baby and answers their cry, especially during the first six weeks, the better they bond - this will also give mom a much-needed break.
- Let him find his own way of doing things - there's more than one way to bath or change a baby. If you criticise his methods or take over, you'll end up with the poo while he'll turn into a nappy dodger. Your child will go through about 5 000 nappies, so get dad involved from the word go.
Ebrahim Sampson's wife Warda, 32, planned to have a leisurely water birth for the arrival of their second baby.
But things didn't go according to plan and in the early hours of Friday, February 18, 2005, her water broke at home.
And unlike the first baby, who took 18 hours to arrive, this one was in a hurry to greet the world.
Ebrahim, 31, says catching his daughter was one of the scariest experiences of his life.
"Warda woke me up at about 3am. I put her overnight bag and our eldest daughter in the car," he says. "But when I went back in the house, my wife told me it was too late - the baby's head was breaching.
"It was ready to come. She told me to fetch our neighbour to help.
"I did that and rushed back to her, which was when she gave me more bad news: we're gonna have to do it ourselves.
"She was on the kitchen floor, the pain driving her to her knees. But even though she was in pain and vrek bang as she told me afterwards, she started issuing orders.
"My wife believes knowledge is power, and she probably knew more about pregnancy and birth than a midwife.
"She told me to stay calm and do exactly what she said.
"I fetched and laid towels between her legs and took position behind her.
"She was still on her knees. She groaned and then I saw the baby's head coming out.
"What a sight! It was small and there was hardly any blood on.
"Warda told met to put my hands on the baby's shoulders, which were still inside, and at the next push, to turn it sideways and pull.
"And out she came. I remember my wife turning her head and gasping: 'What is it?' We were hoping for a boy, but it was another girl.
"I wiped away the mucous and made sure she was breathing.
"It was a magical moment. I had caught my baby and mine was the first face she saw on this earth.
"It was breathtaking.
"I then had to fetch a pair of scissors and some string to cut and tie the umbilical cord. I first sterilised the scissors with a lighter. The whole thing was over in 20 minutes.
"The neighbours arrived and we rushed both mom and baby to the hospital.
"Thankfully both were fine, with baby weighing in at 3.6kg." - Daily Voice